Lucky wife

Wife comes home in new shoes and says:
- I'm so lucky! When I was taking the rubbish out and found a new pair of shoes. I put them on and just imagine: they were exactly of my size!
Husband:
- Yes, you are lucky.
In a few days wife comes home in a new fur-coat and says:
- I'm so lucky. When I was returning home in the bus I found a new fur-coat. I put it on and just imagine: it was exactly of my size!
Husband:
Yes, you are lucky, while I am not. Just imagine: I found the trunks under our pillow but they are not of my size!

Bomb in the wardrobe

Husband returns home from business trip. When he opens the door, his wife, half-dressed, cries:
- Let's get out of here! Somebody has just called and said there is a bomb in our house.
- Wait a moment, honey. I will check if the bomb is not in our wardrobe!

Have fun in Ukraine!

In the Internet

A call from lover:
- I missed you so much.
- Let's meet
- Where?
- At my place.
- What about husband?
- He is not at home! He is in the Internet.

Have fun in Ukraine!

Now wonder!

One friend to another:
- Can you imagine? Yesterday I come home, open the wardrobe and see a naked man...
- Now wonder! All men sooner or later...
- But, I am not married!

Have fun in Ukraine!

Big love

Granny to granddaughter:
- Remember, there is only one big love in life!
- And who was your big love, granny?
- Sailors...

Have fun in Ukraine!

It was not for you

The phone is ringing. Wife comes up to lift the receiver. Husband says:
- Say, that I'm not at home.
Wife lifts the receiver:
- Yes. No. No, husband is at home...
Husband:
- I told you, that I'm not...
Wife:
- It was not for you...

Have fun in Ukraine!

No way

Knock at the door. The husband opens the door and sees his neighbor with a sheet of paper. The neighbor asks:
- Do you want to take part in a group sex?
- Well... who else takes part?
The neighbor looks at the list and says:
- Me, your wife and you.
- No way!
- Ok. Then I cross you out.

Have fun in Ukraine!

Moth

A husband suddenly returns home from business trip and finds his wife in the bedroom. Suddenly he hears a sound in the wardrobe. He asks his wife:
- What is it?
- It's a moth.
He opens the wardrobe and sees a naked man in his wife's fur coat. The man silently comes out of the wardrobe and goes towards the door. The husband asks him:
- Who are you?
- Moth.
- Where are you taking the fur coat?
- I will eat it at home.

Have fun in Ukraine!

It is impossible to love money so much!

An old millionaire wakes up in the bed with a beautiful young lady. He comes to the mirror, looks at his big belly, loose skin, bold head... then he looks at a gorgeous body of the young lady and says:
- It is impossible to love money so much!

Who will be lucky?

A young lady comes to fortuneteller and asks:
- John and Bill are in love with me, could you tell me who will be lucky to marry me?
- John will be lucky, as it is Bill who will marry you...

Garbage bag

Husband comes home earlier than usual. The wife is at home with her lover. She quickly takes a garbage bag, meets the husband in the hall and says:
- Honey, could you take off the garbage while you are dressed?
Husband takes the garbage and goes out. Lover quickly goes up the stairs and then goes out unnoticed, thinking how smart his lover is. When lover comes home his wife meets him in the hall and says:
- Honey, could you take off take off the garbage while you are dressed?
He takes the garbage and goes out thinking how stupid his wife is because she is at home all the day and can't find the time to take off the garbage.