It's working!

Traffic police stops a car.
Policeman: Have you drunk vodka today?
Driver: No.
Policeman: Breathe into the tube... Well, no alcohol is detected... Maybe the tube is broken… (breathes into the tube himself) No, it's working!

Have fun in Ukraine!

Samogon (home-brew) producing machine

During the search in a man's house policeman finds the samogon (home-brew) producing machine.
Policeman: You are accused of producing samogon (home-brew).
Man: I didn't produce samogon (home-brew)!
Policeman: But you have the equipment.
Man: Then you can accuse me of rape as well!
Policeman: Have you raped anybody?!
Man: No! But I have the equipment!

Have fun in Ukraine!

Two envelopes

New chief of police finds a note from his predecessor: "There are two envelopes in the upper drawer. When you are in trouble for the first time, open the first envelope. When you are in a big trouble for the second time, open the second envelop". In a couple of years he got into trouble, opened the first envelope he got from his predecessor and read: "Sift the blame onto me". He did so and got out of troubles. In a next couple of years he got into a big trouble again and opened the second envelop. It said: "Prepare two envelopes"

Have fun in Ukraine!

What do traffic police do when there is not much speeding violation on the road?

- What do traffic police do when there is not much speeding violation on the road?
- They run towards the cars for the speed-trap to display greater speed.

Have fun in Ukraine!

Police salary

A young man went to work to police. Everything seems to be ok, except for one thing - he never asked for the salary within tree months of work. When the head of the department asked him why, he said:
- Wow! Didn't know you pay a salary here. I thought, you gave me the gun and the rest is up to me.